It is no longer when

but if

I’ll ever see you again


Nothing is guaranteed

so I cuddle the dog

and stare at the pregnant neighbor

as I wash the dishes


I wonder what it’s like

to bring new life into a dying world

She rakes the soil

to prepare for spring

and waits

for the birth of a new chapter


On gray days,

I think of the sun laden afternoons

in Yellow Creek

before I jumped ship

and learned to love a new town

and every man who would let me


The uncertainty was thrilling,

but this time it’s different


it’s grief-soaked and lonely

and infinite and screams if

until I forget there ever was a when


All I know today is I love you

If and when and always



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