Category: love

Safety

Drown me,

April rain,

push me under

the unbearable lightness of

wait, what if

I am enough,

gap-toothed wonder

pushed under

tight lips with words

cascading first

like tea, hot then cold,

sweet then bold

vanilla mouth full of protest


Drown me,

April rain,

in River Rat Alley,

next to soft bellies

swollen with ketchup

and white bread


wait, what if

I am full

of what could have been

and not what is happening,

no more beach bottles

and backroads

no more screenshots

and St. Augustine shells

no more garter snakes

and chocolate eggs,

midnight philosophies

and morning sex


Drown me,

April rain

push me under

the stained sheets

and tell me it was all worth it

the misplaced hope, the shower tears,

the belly laughs and COVID years

the sad song commute,

and the way I still carry

fragments of Hollywood’s imagination


Drown me,

April rain

Fill my lungs with something

lighter than loss


Fill them finally

with safety


05-01-23

0

Moon

treadmills,

racing thoughts


aware of impending loss,

hearts pump at their own pace,

but face to face

I forget to

slow

gentle

patient

in the psych ward

with grip socks

a rite of passage


you remind me of the moon,

sliver in a limitless sky,

universe you don’t share


is it me

or the certainty of an end,

good enough to pretend

finite enough to forget


Ruminating reflection

of the sea and the earth

and me,

now stuck on a memory

of collecting

cow bones

and begging the cops

to arrest that man,

faceless killer

with bones

like those I held


but they tell me to be a good girl

men always tell me to be a good girl


do not love me,

they say,

do not love me,

but stay

until you love

nothing but the moon



4/12/23

0

Elements

Michigan tumbleweed,

litter and nettle bouncing

in the gale,

pale and unassuming

an equal,

born of trash

and happenstance

windows down,

nose to the ground,

I forget that I ever knew

anything but the hunt

when will I

surrender to the elements,

god and evolution and love and science

and remember

what it is to be flesh

and pleasure and science and love and god,

what it is to feel

powerless

in the presence of

man,

beautiful man,

who bathes me in laughter,

beautiful enough

to forget the scent I’m after

But I don’t forget



03-25-23

0

Open Air

when I shower

I reread us

like a bedtime story

I regret nothing

I love you now

as I have always loved you

and I love him,

the man who is

consistent and distant,

like me

always chasing

open air

he is a poem

you are a chapter

and I am exhausted

I no longer need

words of affirmation

or attention

I need nourishment

I need rest

Eventually the sky

will crack itself in two

on a stormy night

and light me on fire

when I’m not looking

but for now,

love me

and

everyone

and

no one

forever


as I love you



02-27-23

0

Combust


This is it

We skydive into the sun

and burn with the rest of the planet

But for those few seconds

we are free-falling

and I see your

eyes locked with mine


I have never felt my blood

scorch in someone else’s veins

but you carry me like a heart

soaked in kerosene


This is where I leave you

before I combust

before I lose you


12/09/22

0

Remember Me


In the end we are water,

moving with air,

carving our bodies into earth

Remember me,

we say,

but there is no way

to forget the shape of a river

Do you think of me when

you build dams

and wipe your hands

of the soil that made you?


I will think of you

someday,

away from false worlds

where we work like ants

under magnifying glasses

Someday,

the sun’s rays

won’t burn us,

but warm us from the porch

as we watch the horizon melt

behind the hills



11/3/22


0

Is it

Is it what you want

I chew on this thought like tree bark

praying it will quell the ache in my gut,

but

my organs know

I do not want

to wonder forever

if you love her

if you love me

or if we are all just patches

never a quilt

you are always cold

because you want

it’s why I loved you

but now I hate those graphic tees

all who wander are lost

stitching experiences

together until

halves are whole

I want to see the world

through the eyes of my family

not strangers

I want to fold the sheets

and know you will sleep

beside me

in them, in there, in then

wherever, however, whomever

just not her

please not her

is it what you want

3/10/22

0

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